Tools for Moving through Divorce

Tools for Emotionally Moving through Divorce Easier

iStock_000038156316_SmallDivorce produces change and for some change is not easy. Many of us are afraid of change, we just prefer to keep things the way they are, within our comfort zone. Getting divorced can be overwhelming physically, emotionally and financially. If you are willing to embrace the changes that your divorce brings, you will have the opportunity to start a new life for yourself and your family. What are some steps to embracing change?

  • Audit your attitude- Successful people see change as an opportunity for personal growth. How can you shift you attitude towards change?

1)        Use Alternative Attitude Statements: Make a list of all of your current attitudes about the divorce? For example: I will be lonely, my life will be never be as good as it was, etc. For each example try a new alternate statement: I will meet new people and establish new relationships, my life is going to better than before, I will be able to make my own decisions and live life for myself.

2)        Watch your language: Try not to use words like difficult, impossible, never, instead say to yourself I can handle this, I am strong, this is a challenge and I am up for it.

  • Stay in this time zone- When a marriage falls apart it is easy to delve into the past and relive past hurts, and failures. Can you erase what has happened? No, you can only focus on the present. Put your energy and focus on the here and now. What do you have control over right now?
  • Live for the present but plan for the future-Spend time investing in what could be. What are the possibilities for you? Where do you want to be in 1 year, 5 years, etc. Stay open to what is possible.
  • Let go of the past- If you cling to past resentment, disappointments, anger you cannot move forward. This doesn’t mean just get over your emotions and move on or forget what has happened, however, it does mean focusing on the present and what want in the future.
  • Don’t go it alone- During divorce build a network of friends and family to support you. Choose people who are positive and supportive of you as you move forward and who do not focus on the past or reiterate your past hurts or failures.

By embracing the changes that go along with divorce and looking forward not backward you will begin a new life full of opportunities for you and your family.

To help you move through your Divorce Easier Contact Carol Delzer at Family Law Center

916.488.5088